What To Do When You Don't Want To Write.

There once was a time, many years ago, when I would write in all my spare time, just to write. My school diary instead of having a list of my homework each day had a new story beginning.

Sadly, that time has passed. There are occasions when I am at work or in the shower, and think 'Man, I really need to write that down now!' And those occasions are great. But tell yourself that you will be getting up two hours before you need to get ready for work to write, and come home from work and after dinner sit down for another two hours to write, every day for the rest of the week, and suddenly the thrill of it seems to be gone.

However, while the thrill might be gone: number of complete novels written through inspiration = 0, number written now through just sitting down and doing it = about 4.5. Therefore, the conclusion obviously isn't to just wait for inspiration to strike. It has to involve a good amount of just sitting down.

So I'm trying to implement some more advice from McDougall's 'Born to Run'. Previously I had been working on Caballo Blanco's advice 'Easy, Light, Smooth', see the post Born to Write. (Yup, have advanced to internal links! Will be going back and putting more in instead of just vaguely saying 'as I've said previously'). Now it was time to take Eric's advice:

p. 259

(just before the final 50 mile race that the whole book has been building up to)

My chest felt tight. Eric worked his way over beside me. 'Look, I got some bad news,' he said. 'You're not going to win. No matter what you do, you're going to be out there all day. So you might as well just relax, take your time, and enjoy it. Keep this in mind - if it feels like work, you're working too hard.'

Basically, I love this advice for three reasons: (I initially said two, but then realised there was a third. Good things always come in threes, like three point sermons, and blocks of chocolate.)

1. The challenge they are about to face is to run 50 miles, which ends up taking McDougall 12 hours. There is no short cut. If you want to do this, this is what it takes. 

2. He puts it all into perspective: you aren't going to win. McDougall's challenge was just to finish the race. My challenge is not to write a perfect masterpiece, that would be trying to win an ultra-race against the best in the world after just a few months training. My goal is to write a draft from beginning to end to see if there is a story there. That's it.

3. However, his advice is not 'if it feels like work, quit' or even 'if it feels like work, try and distract yourself with something else' which is sometimes suggested. Instead, his advice is that you mgiht as well just relax and enjoy it.

For me, I'm getting panicked about word counts per hour, if one hour is behind, I then get flustered and it gets me totally out of the flow, and I'm fixated on every word, etc. etc. I'm working too hard. It's time to just sit back, relax, and write.

So, in light of that, one thing I did tonight was copy all my documents off my little Eee PC, which is super useful for carrying around, but I have to admit that the smaller keyboard did give me more typos. I've now put it all on my nice big Macbook Pro, which has a full sized keyboard, and much nicer button responsivity (yes, computer, I know that is not a word, but I want it to be, so work with me, I am complimenting you after all). 

So, summary of what to do when you don't want to write:

1. Layout the challenge: do you want to write a book or not? If not, walk away now, if so, then it is going to take a long time, and you just have to live with that.

2. Put your current work into perspective: you don't have to write a masterpiece in this sitting, you just have to write.

3. Stop working so hard! Slow down and enjoy the ride.

On my own writing, am back on Book 2 of Castle Innis. Have not finished book 1, but it has had it's chance. I'm going to send it to my alpha reader and see what they think, is it worth finishing off as it is, with a major overhaul, or maybe they'll say not to bother with it and just focus on one of the other 100 drafts I'll have by the end.

Also, in major world stopping news: I've given up chocolate and caffeine.

But how can you be a writer without chocolate and caffeine, you ask?

That is a very good question. I am not yet sure, but will tell you soon.

I had been fooling myself into thinking I was only eating about half a block (yes, a family sized block of Cadbury's, the 220gram ones) a day. Unfortunately, on Wednesday I suddenly realised that I had opened the block only that morning, and by three pm it was completely gone. Worst part of it all, I didn't feel the least full or sick of it.

This was made worse by having weighed myself at the gym on Tuesday... not to give you exact figures, but heaviest I've ever been.

Strangely, spending all your time writing and eating large amounts of chocolate does have negative consequences.

So, since Wednesday I have gone cold turkey on chocolate and caffeine (okay, I'm not quite sure why caffeine got chucked in there, except that I noticed I was starting to drink coffee at work just as a matter of course, and I didn't want to get addicted). I have to admit I accidentally had chocolate on Thursday, as it was part of a dessert so was categorised in my head as 'pavlova topping' not as 'chocolate', but since then I haven't had any at all. (It's now Monday, by the way). This is the longest I've gone without chocolate for ... well, I gave it up for Lent once, but that was a few years ago.

And the most crazy thing is, I don't really miss it. So am taking that as divine help and approval.

If you notice that these blogs start to become weirder and weirder, please notify someone as I've possibly set off a psychotic episode through sudden withdrawal.

(Come to think of it, I did have super vivid dreams on the weekend. I wonder if that is connected? Like the opposite of the cheese effect.)

Good night.

Buffy.

Born to Write?

So, as mentioned previously, I'm trying to see if there is a connection between long distance running and writing novels. Both are insane, when you think about them. However, both are very natural: we are made to run, we are equally made to tell stories. Kids know this, they love to run, will run even when you tell them not to. And they love stories. They love hearing them, and they love telling them. Give a kid a toy, and it is suddenly a brave knight on a quest to slay the wicked dragon.

Therefore, my logic works that a book about how to run naturally might have some tips for writing not found in more conventional places, such as books on writing. It seems as good a theory as any, particularly for the type of writing I'm doing: lots of long distances.

The following extract is from 'Born to Run' by Christopher McDougall (which completely coincidentally, I think, is the last name of one of my characters in the book I'm currently working on), from the section where the author is going for his first jog with 'The White Horse' (Caballo Blanco), a man that has been living in the wilds of Mexico and just running.

' “Lesson two” Caballo called. 'Think Easy, Light, Smooth, and Fast. You start with easy, because if that's all you get, that's not so bad. Then work on light. Make it effortless, like you don't give a *&^% how high the hill is or how far you've got to go. When you've practised that so long that you forget you're practising, you work on making it smoooooooth. You won't have to worry about the last one – you get those three, and you'll be fast.'”

(Swear word bleeped out by me, just in case I have any young and/or innocent readers.)

My theory is that the same can be applied to writing. A lot of people have this image that writing should be slow, torturous work. That the writer should agonise over the exact ordering of the words, or choosing the perfect metaphor. And my reply is 'yeah...nah....'. All that can be done in the second draft. It is too soul killing to do in the first. Even if it produces a good work, it will have caused so much pain, the next novel will be entered into with trepidation. But if writing a draft is seen like going for an afternoon jog, how bad can that be? Obviously only if you are sort of fit already, I remember a time when an afternoon jog sounded like freely lining up to have someone pour molten lead into my legs and give my lungs a good brushing over with sandpaper. This likeness of fitness to writing is suggested by Dorothea's exercises which recommend you should practice towards writing for longer and longer periods.

So, I think I have reasonably good general writing fitness. This has largely come from years and years of writing essays of growing length and strangely in reducing amounts of time (yeah, in first year, I was one of the people that would start writing their essays weeks before it was due, by third year of my first degree, I was doing all nighters to get them done start to finish). Given a general level of fitness, I am currently working on thinking of my writing sessions as: easy, light, smooth.

General update on my writing: the fortnight is almost up, I have just tomorrow, and I think that this might be the first draft that I do not finish in the allocated time. Sad, but I'm not going to let it get me down. I have learnt a lot of really useful things from doing this draft (first of a completely unknown book at the very beginning of a series), and have also taken some much needed time off.

I'm currently at just over 50,000 words. Story-wise... I'm not exactly sure where I am. I think I'm ¾ of the way through, but it depends on how the end actually plays out (because I don't know what it is yet). Therefore, I will write what I can tomorrow, though am meeting up with my writing group in the morning, which is fantastic as we only meet once a month and are still pretty new. At the end of the night, I will just plot out where I think the story will go and leave it. I have decided that if I do not finish a draft on time, I just move onto the next story all the same. If I get a chance, if I'm ahead and feeling inspired, I will go back and work on it and hopefully finish it off. If not, I'll see whether the idea catches someone's attention, and finish it off if demanded.

So, that's the plan. Easy, Light, Smooth – Finish and/or Move On. 

The Slow Onset of Madness

As kids it used to crack us up in the play ground, running up to someone and saying 'did you know the first sign of madness is hair growing on your palms?' And when they reflexively look adding 'and the second is looking for it!' hahahah (kids, so cruel).

Well, I'm starting to count signs that I might be losing it.

Sign number 1: The talking to myself out loud has increased, which wouldn't be such a problem except I was working out how to describe people as characters while on the tram.

Sign 2: I take directions from my characters and am starting to suspect they might be smarter than I am.

Sign 4: I've started having insider jokes just with myself.

Sign 5: Not writing a sign 3, and not caring.

Sign 6: I then laugh hysterically at my own insider jokes all the same.

Sign 7: I've starting knitting fluffy animals.

Sign 8: I want to model my life on Miranda Hart and might be halfway there (watch the first 30 seconds, that's what I'm talking about! But who has a set of tails in their wardrobe, seriously?... Seriously? I can has tails?).

So, in other words, think I'm totally on the way to becoming a professional writer.

In other news wrote 18,000 words on the weekend, but then was just over it all today, so only got 2,000 this morning, and a grand total of 1,000 this evening, because I preferred to knit. Yes, I know, all I need are some cats.

But story is now over 36,000, and has some actually sort of interesting bits in. The romance isn't amazingly thrilling at the moment, I have to admit, but the adventure and action is working really well. Though, have had to pull back on the gruesome details which keep trying to pop up. Had to get rid of a decomposing body or two. Sad, but kills the 'mood', if you know what I mean (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Not that it ever worried Indiana Jones, I've got to admit. But Harrison Ford is 'mood' all by himself.

Have just started reading an Amanda Quick. For those who don't know, she is a successful writer of historical romance (hers are meant to be the good ones!). I'm hoping it will give me more inspiration for the romance part, but at the moment I'm fighting not to burst out laughing every few pages. But hey, at least they are good for something.

Also reading 'Born to Run', as I originally thought about doing a ridiculous number of books after hearing about ultra-distance runners. I think running a marathon is crazy, but what do you do once you can run a marathon? Run fifty in fifty days! Or something similarly ridiculous. Well, what do you do once you've written a book? Set yourself an even more insane goal.

So I feel there is a lot in common between an ultra-distance runner and a prolific writer. I'm trying to tap into the mind set that just says 'yes, I've been doing this for hours and hours, but I totally want to keep going for twice that long again.' Once I've cracked that it's all going to be sweet. So expect some updates from the book.

Sadly not all things translate so well to writing. Have started drinking Chia Seeds, to see if their endurance properties apply to mental abilities. Have not been super impressed so far, especially since I keep wanting to go for a jog when I should be writing. Fail, Chia Seeds, Fail.

Well, farewell for tonight.