Essential Writing Concepts - Breaking The Frame

It continues to amaze me that I did a number of creative writing subjects at one of Australia's top universities, and there are simple concepts about writing which they never taught me. It was like they believed that to teach these concept would be to place restrictions on us budding authors and therefore somehow stifle our creativity.

Now that I'm a full time writer, I'm working hard to collect all these little bits of knowledge that other writers have worked out over the centuries, so I can skip ahead on making these mistakes myself.

Through reading and attending seminars, I'm finally realising that these concepts and rules could have saved me so much time and embarassment. Once someone pointed them out to me, they were so obvious! I don't feel in any way that they stifle what I want to write. Instead, they are secret short cuts to faster, better writing. Even if I decide to break these rules, I will at least understand what I'm doing and why.

Today's concept was revolutionary to me when I learned it at a writing conference in June this year:

Do everything you can not to 'break frame'. 

For a writer, the best times are when we completely get caught up in the flow, lost in our own world, seeing the story play out in front of us as we hurriedly try to keep up.

Why would we not want to pass this experience onto the reader?

My favourite books are those where I can completely lose myself in the world of the story, where I'm a silent observer, engrossed in the events. When reading like this, if someone calls me back to the real world, I stare around me blinking, wondering why it is now semi-dark or my tea has gone cold.

For me, this is what storytelling is all about, weaving such a world with words.

Breaking the frame is a cinematic concept, it refers to anything that comes within the frame of the shot that shouldn't, that suggests the images are all just constructs. For example, when you are watching a romantic scene, and suddenly the audio boom appears at the top. This has broken into the frame, and once you notice things like this, you are focused more on how the story is made than what the story actually is.

For writers, breaking the frame is forcing the reader suddenly out of the story. Now I understand that some people think it is 'artistic' to confront the reader, challenge them in their perceptions in a way that makes them uncomfortable. If you know why you are doing this, okay. However, there is one very good reason that should make you think before doing this: every time you break the frame for the reader, you are giving them an opportunity to put your book down and walk away.

Breaking the frame is anything that makes your reader realise that they are reading, that they are separate to the world being created. It is anything that jars the reader back into reality and breaks the spell of the writing over them.


That all sounds very dramatic, and a bit mystical, so let me give you a down to earth example in writing. One of the easiest ways that young writers do this is a sudden second person (the sneaky 'you'). While in normal conversation and communication, a second person works well because it shows the listener you are thinking of them, in a narrative it suddenly highlights that the reader is a being of their own, no longer lost in the story.

Simple lines like:

He walked across the lake. You know, it's difficult to walk across a lake in hiking gear. 

The 'you know' seems so harmless, and even give some texture to the writing. However, it is a break and the sudden change can be like a splash of water in the face of the reader. Whether it fully wakes them up or not, it has diminished your spell over them.


There are of course many other ways to break the frame, so start looking out for them and analysing their effect on the reader.

The more you understand about it, the more you can effectively use it. Sometimes the reader does just need a slap in the face in order to fully understand your point, but you should be really sure that they are going to appreciate it and not just walk away.

The Problem with Writing Characters From Real Life

There are many advantages to writing characters who are based on real people. The most obvious are that you don't have to think them up, and you can finally give them the endings those people/actions really deserved. (Yes, I am assuming most people write as wish fulfillment. Just me? Really? Well, me and all the other romance writers out there at least.)

However, today I want to talk about the difficulties and problems of using real people to base your main characters on. (You can continue to use them indiscrimentently for minor characters, that's completely fine by me.)

The topic comes from my recent efforts producing my brother's book for publication: Tom Grafton Vs. The Environmentalists (available any day now on Amazon in hard copy! Just waiting for it to move over from Createspace).

The main character, Tom Grafton, is based (unsurprisingly) on my brother. I make no judgement about this, as nearly all first works of fiction are autobiographical in someway, which is why my first creative writing subject at Uni was called 'Autofictions'. However, while reading it, I came across some of the problems that occur when you develop a character from a real life person, even one who you know as well as yourself.

1. They don't always make sense.
In real life Dave acts based on a set of motivations developed from years of different experiences. Therefore, when Tom is faced with a situation he simple does what David would have done in that situation. However, for the reader it sometimes doesn't make sense, because they only know a little bit about Tom, not all the factors that have led David to act as he does. Even the most complex character does not have all the intricacies of a human being and why we act as we do. (Have you ever noticed that bad guys in real life are rarely as satisfactory as in stories, because they are generally not as clearly evil or predictable?) With too many motivations, desires and backstory, people are not going to be able to connect with the character within the space of one book.

Therefore, to create stronger characters, you need to narrow down on just one or two aspects of your personality that you really want to gift to your character, and pull out the backstory and current desires which support that.

2. You have both done things the other hasn't.
In Tom Grafton Vs The Environmentalists there is a really good scene where Tom goes deer hunting for the first time, and Dave records the emotional impact that making that first kill had on him. This gave me a very interesting insight into Dave and his love of hunting. However, I had a slight problem with it for Tom.

Tom, unlike Dave, had been in Iraq, and in a series of short stories, he had gotten into gun fights with terrorists and fearlessly rescued a captured ally, killing those who had taken him hostage, and saving the day.

The fact that he had no emotional reaction to killing a number of human beings, but then goes on to have this revelation while killing a deer caused certain problems for me. Now some of it is the difference between an action short story and a more serious novel. However, the fact remains that in any fiction story, by the end the characters should have gone through something you haven't, so you need to make sure they react appropriately.

3. All because it happened, doesn't make it a good story.  
Often we base scenes in fiction on things that really happened, because they were important to us or seem easier to write that way. However, often we also need to put on a different ending to follow the appropriate narrative arch. As a hypothetical example, imagine that you liked a girl who in real life ended up knocking you back. However, you use some of the dialogue and situations between the two of you for the romance in the book. As it turns out, this makes for pretty dull writing, because the reader keeps thinking 'wow, that really doesn't sound like she likes him that much!'

Or the other extreme is that you put all your wish fulfillment fantasies into her mouth, and it sounds even more unrealistic than if you had just made up the character to begin with. So be wary, very wary.


4. Always keep in mind that fact is stranger than fiction. 
All because it happened in real life, doesn't mean that someone is going to believe it if they read it. This is sad, but true. This isn't a trap that Dave has fallen into, but one that I've seen other people succumb to. When you give such writers feedback about it they always get defensive and argue 'oh, but that's how it really happened.'

Well, I don't care how it really happened, unless you are writing a memoir. I only care about whether it is a good narrative feature, and in this case, it isn't. It makes no sense and turns your reader off.

So, writing characters from real life can be great, but in my personal rule book, only minor characters should be exact copies of people. Major characters can contain certain elements, but don't one-for-one try and copy a person into a book. It's lazy writing and comes across as such (or takes so much work to do well, you would have been better off just starting from scratch at the beginning).

Quick update on me since I last posted:
1. I finished the thorough edit of my Christian YA, Sally Hunt Vs. God, and sent it off to a publisher who had shown some interest. Fingers crossed. (The website said they would respond to submissions in 3-6months, so have got a while to wait. Hoping for a nice Christmas present, though that is pushing the timeframe a bit).

2. I re-wrote the first section of The Nice Guys' Guide To Online Dating Profiles, made it less academic, and quite funny, if I do say so myself. That is now with one of my editors getting a thorough red-ink workout (or Word track changes, as the case maybe). Am still open to suggestions on making the title snappier, by the way.

3. I've started (/continued after my failed attempt earlier in the year) to write my first theology book, The Great Divide, a layman's guide to the fundamental differences in concepts of knowledge between liberal and conservative (Protestant) theologians, and how to protect against them. This is my morning writing workout, for 2+ hours a day. I can't guarantee this one is going to take two weeks, as it is a bit more challenging than historical romances :D

4. I am currently spending my afternoons re-writing A Little Bit Of Leaven, the book my great grandfather wrote.



(So, either I've been quite prolific, or I just haven't posted for a while. I'm going with the former.)

On the nomadic side of things, I've finished house sitting for my parents in Woodend, as they have come home from America. I am now squatting at my brother's place in Sunbury for the foreseeable future. It's working pretty well, as he leaves for work before I get up, so I have the house to myself all day. Then he comes home, we eat dinner together, then he does his own thing and I can do another few hours of work. We'll see if that is enough to get a number of things out by Christmas!

By the way, on request I've created a new cover for Tom Grafton, which is being used on the print on demand version (only tell me if you like it, as it's too late to change now. The old cover is more appropriate to the second book in the series, as it turns out, because it has the girl and guy together (spoiler alert!)).

Anyone got any really good examples of characters based on real life that totally blow my theory apart? Would love to hear your thoughts.

How Not To Write An Internet Dating Profile

Everyone's Into Internet Dating These Days (Photo by Espacio Camon)

So last post I indicated that I was getting back into internet dating. My logic went pretty much like this: Yah, I'm self-employed. Boo, I don't go out much and won't get to meet anyone new. Yah, I have lots of time, a flexible schedule, and spend quite a bit of time on my computer.

Pretty sound logic, no? 

I will admit that there might have been some prompting from a friend who will remain nameless (if you know me in real life, you can probably guess who) who supplements her career driven life by living vicariously through making me do things she wouldn't do herself.

Together, we make one awesome online profile, if I do say so myself. 

So next time I'm going to write out some of the secrets to writing a great internet dating profile, because it is another useful writing skill. 

However, I thought I would start today with the common mistakes I've seen again and again in writing a profile. If you read this list and think you recognise your own profile, it's not actually yours, thousands of people have made the same mistake. 

I also full admit that this is focused particularly on what guys do wrong (as I only read male profiles), and assumes you want to find someone more or less like me: nice, normal, somewhat intelligent, good hygiene, and a basic sense of grammar. If you don't any of these things, please feel free to ignore this advice. 

1. The Profile Picture

So, we all know that it's shallow to judge on appearances. However, please be realistic: we all do it to some extent. Therefore, avoid the following:

a) putting a picture of something else. If you have no pictures of yourself, people are going to assume the worst. Or even if they don't, a picture tells a thousand words. You are missing a great opportunity to present more information about who you are than you could write in a profile. (and no, you're not a sunset).

b) putting a picture with multiple people in it. Why would you do this? Seriously, if you can take a picture of you and your two mates, then pull out your iPhone again and ask them to step aside. 

c) you and a girl kissing your cheek (or really any shot with your arm wrapped around another woman). Are you trying to prove you can pull hot girls? Message is sort of undermined by the fact that you are on an internet dating site. Also, keep in mind that it tends to subconsciously bring out the worst in women to see other girls all over a potential mate. If the girl in the picture is at all good looking then the thinking might go along the lines of 'well, she looks like she must be a total bimbo, and so if he's into that sort of thing, then he can just keep his barbie dolls...' etc. Only case where it is acceptable is your grandmother. Your mother makes you look like a mama's boy.

d) comic ugly shot. Okay, we get that you might be hiding behind humour, but it just comes across as a bit insecure. Don't make it your main photo if you want to put it in. (though guy that was dressed up as Capt. Jack Sparrow, you did any awesome job... great if I ever need a partner for a costume party.)

e) a shot that doesn't actually show your face. It's not porn, we like to see that you have a head! Even if you have a good body, still want to see your face. 

I think that covers most things to do with photos. 

2. Your Online Name

I admit that often the name you want is already taken, and OK Cupid makes great suggestions like putting 'taco' on the end of it. Having said that, here are some options you still shouldn't take. 

a) anything that is immediately offensive or just makes the reader feel slightly dirtier for having read it. (Not that I like naming names, but 'ilikesuckintoes'... I'm talking to you.) 

b) a real word spelt incorrectly in a way that makes it appear you that you just can't spell. There are accepted short cuts, and then there's just plain wrong. 

c) names that are questions. For example (I don't know if someone has this name, sorry if you do), but 'RUthe1' just automatically makes me scream 'no' before actually looking at your profile.

d) a subjective opinion as a statement. Okay, so I know it is a bad human trait, but if you say 'I'm super sexy', all I think is 'nah, not really.' Therefore, stay away from making any statements in your name which will lead someone to automatically want to cut you back down to size. Particularly of the 'sexy' variety. That's for me to decide, Mister. 

e) finally, it's best not to have a name that is a random collection of letters and numbers. Sort of hard to remember or pronounce. (Especially if you are really cute and I have to talk about you to friends before I get up my courage to message you. Because then my friend will just make up a code name for you, like 'Dognoodle', sorry but it had to be done.) 

3. Personal Information

First of all, if you are going to try online dating, try it properly. If you put up a picture of an inanimate object and then fill out no information about yourself, but list what sort of girls should contact you, why exactly do you think this is going to work? (if it does, please let me know.)

Having said that. 

a) don't lie about your ethnicity... it's sort of obvious. 

b) I'm not entirely sure why it has the question about income there, but unless you are earning mega bucks, not sure it adds to your profile to display it. Especially if you are hyping yourself up and earning $40,000. 

c) yes, OK Cupid (and presumably others) do have an option that you can tick 'I'm looking for someone for casual sex'. And yes, if that were on the tables you might be quite happy. Please keep in mind that by ticking that, you are ruling yourself out for a large number of girls. Not everyone thinks asking for casual sex is a normal thing. (So, I know I'm a prude, but I can't imagine that many girls would be on internet dating just looking for casual sex. We don't have to go onto sites to get there, we just have to stand around a bar.) 

4. Self - Description

Please keep in mind that within even a few minutes online, the person reading your profile has probably just read five others as well. Therefore:

a) don't waste my time by starting with 'oh, I'm really new to this, don't know what to say, umm...' blah, blah. Cut To The Chase! Just like a great novel, your first sentence has to catch me, so don't waste it with drivel. 

b) Don't use cliches, because everyone is using them. These include:

- 'I love living life to the fullest.'  (Please respect the fact that some of us are saving our life up for later.)

-  'I'm easy-going/down to earth/ a nice guy.'

- 'Fun-loving' (unlike those awful people that just kill fun dead. Hate those guys). 

- 'Like meeting new people.' (seriously, once you've met a few, you'll get over it. Trust me.)

- 'passionate' - everyone thinks they are passionate. You never see so many people in real life being passionate about things, but online, everyone is.

- 'I love travel.' Especially when you can't back this up with proof. And what type of travel? If I love 5 star cruising, I'm not going to go backpacking with you in Africa.

c) anything that indicates you haven't taken the time to proof read it or to learn to spell. (Yes, this is a reoccurring theme with me, it is also a reoccurring theme online. Even after I said 'don't contact me if you don't know the difference between their, there and they're.')

d) trying to cover all bases. You're a dreamer, with your feet firmly on the ground, huh? You can't be ideal for everyone, so just be realistic (and cut the philosophising.)

e) It's a 5,000 word essay. Seriously, just give me the Cliffnotes version (or sparknotes to make it more interesting). 

These are just some simple tips you can take to make sure that you too don't come across as either a complete idiot or a wet fish with no personality of their own. 

Tune in next week as I'll actually give some tips for writing a better profile. 

Until then... Gotham still needs me...